Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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