he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
