my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
