i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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