i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
