...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
