Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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