Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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