and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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