we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
