Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
