when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to make a zoo with you.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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