i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
