Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
