Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
