It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
