I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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