I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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