the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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