i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
