Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
