Im at strip club and am horny
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
