I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
