your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
