they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
