Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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