The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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