I hate your face
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
