This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
