why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This house was built for laser tag.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
