oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
