My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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