i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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