OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
