I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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