areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
