so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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