I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
