Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
