i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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