Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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