remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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