dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
