dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
