I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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