i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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