He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
