In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
