I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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