Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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