I don't think brook has ever known best
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
