i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
